Colorectal cancer is the second leading killer among cancer in the United States. Lifestyle factors that may increase your risk of getting colorectal cancer include:
- Lack of regular exercise
- A diet low in fruits and vegetables
- A low-fiber and high-fat diet
- Being overweight
- Excessive alcohol use
- Tobacco use
Author Amy Krouse Rosenthal was terminally ill with ovarian cancer and wrote and published an article help her husband date and marry again once she dies. The emotional essay titled ‘You May Want To Marry My Husband’ in New York Times seeks a partner for her husband. This is un-self loving and moving story. Please read the entire essay: https://www.nytimes.com/2017/03/03/style/modern-love-you-may-want-to-marry-my-husband.html
A small bottle containing urine sat upon the desk of Dr. William Osler, the eminent professor of medicine at Harvard University. Sitting before him was a class full of young, wide-eyed medical students, listening to his lecture on the importance of observing details. To emphasize his point, Dr. Osler announced, “This bottle contains a sample for analysis. It’s often possible by tasting it to determine the disease from which the patient suffers.” He then dipped a finger into the fluid and brought it into his mouth. He continued speaking, “Now I am going to pass the bottle around. Each of you please do exactly as I did. Perhaps we can learn the importance of this technique and diagnose the case.” The bottle made it’s way from row to row, each student gingerly poking his finger in and bravely sampling the contents with a frown. Dr. Osler then retrieved the bottle and startled his students by saying “Gentlemen, now you will understand what I mean when I speak about details. Had you been observant, you would have seen that I put my INDEX FINGER in the bottle but my MIDDLE FINGER into my mouth.
This friend of mine had felt unwell for months, so he decided to see his doctor. The doctor examined him and referred him to the hospital to see various specialists. After a couple of weeks, all the test results came through, so my friend returned to see his doctor.
“I’m very sorry”, said the doctor. “I’m afraid I have bad news and worse news.”
“Tell me the worst.”
“I’ll be honest, you have cancer, you’ll be dead in three months.”
“Shit!” said my friend. “What on earth is the bad news?”
“You also have Alzheimer’s Disease.”
“Alzheimer’s? Oh well, at least I don’t have cancer.”
A man isn’t feeling well, so he goes to see his doctor. The doctor examines him, and then asks to speak with his wife. The doctor tells his wife that her husband has cancer. The wife asks “can he be cured?”. The doctor replies “there’s a chance we can cure him with chemotherapy, but you will need to take care of him every day for the next year – cooking all the meals, cleaning up the vomit, changing the bed pan, driving him to the hospital for daily treatments, and so on”.
When the wife comes out to the waiting room, the husband asks her what the doctor said.
The wife answers “he said that you’re going to die”
A patient visited his urologist for testicular cancer and expressed concern about being able to perform after the operation. The patient was also worried about the chemotherapy. The doctor said “I too had testicular cancer a few years ago. Ten days after the operation I made passionate love with my wife, and forgot all my worries. Try it and see for yourself.” Three weeks later the patient returns, and thanks the doctor effusively. The doctor says “I’m glad my advice helped.” The patient thanks him again, and as he’s leaving says “By the way Doctor, you have a really beautiful house.”
Mary was walking through Walmart when she ran into Harry, who she hadn’t seen in a couple of years. They got to talking and eventually Harry enquired after Grahame; her husband.
“Oh Dear: haven’t you heard? Unfortunately he’s no longer with us.”
“I’m sorry to hear that. If it’s not too intrusive, can I enquire what he died of?”
“The big C got him.”
“Oh my God” he replied, “Cancer is so common nowadays.”
“Ah no it wasn’t cancer, he fell overboard the ferry, and drowned in THE BIG SEA!”
Two old baseball buddies with lung cancer were chatting on a park bench. Paul says, “I hope they have a baseball team in heaven.” “Me too”, says Jack. “Tell you what”, says Paul, “If I die first, I’ll give you a message about whether there is baseball in Heaven. If you die first, you can do the same for me.” A year later, Paul is dead and Jack is sitting on the park bench when he hears: “Jack, it’s me, Paul. I have great news! Guess what. There really is a baseball team in heaven.” “Thank God”, sighs Jack, “Now I can die in peace.” “I’m glad you feel that way,” says Paul, “because you’re pitching tomorrow!”
Three buddies were talking about death and dying.
One asked, “When you’re in your casket and friends and family are mourning you, what would you like to hear them say about you?”
The first guy says, “I would like to hear them say that I was a great doctor of my time and a great family man.”
The second man says, “I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher who made a huge difference in our children of tomorrow.”
The last guy says, “I would like to hear them say LOOK, HE’S MOVING!!!”
March is colorectal cancer awareness month. Kcancer hosts forums on colorectal cancer to address colorectal cancer relevant issues. Please view the press release: https://www.prlog.org/12622488-kcancer-hosts-forum-on-colorectal-cancer.html
A man became impotent due to removal of his cancerous prostate. His urologist recommended a penile implant, which can readily pumped up when an erection is needed.
“You can have a regular grade plastic implant, or a harder one. The latter gives a better erection, but your penis may be hard to tuck away when it’s not inflated,” said the doctor. “Well, I don’t want to be embarrassed in public, so give me the regular grade.”
A few months later he came back to the doctor with a penis all bent out of shape. “My lord,” said the doctor, “You must have had a rough time!” “Yes,” said the patient, “After a year of no erections, my partner and I were as eager as newlyweds. I think I need the harder implant.”
Six months later, he returned with a sorrier looking penis. The doctor exclaims, “Not again! Who is the woman who can do this to you? I’ve never seen the likes of it.”
The doctor was determined to succeed, so he put in a stainless steel implant. A year later, he ran into the man at a party and asked him how the implant was working. “My love life is fantastic, doc, but I have one problem. I can’t get past the metal detector at the airport.”